And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
