I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
