I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
