I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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