He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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