I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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