if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
