Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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