im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
