I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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