I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize