I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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