Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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