beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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