i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
