Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
