Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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