I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
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