I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
