i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
