She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
