wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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