he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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