he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
