so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
