so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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