i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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