Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
