DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
