I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize