We're like a lot better than the average bears
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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