Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
