Just cropdusted the office
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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