If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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