You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
