tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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