I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
