Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
