well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
