so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My hand turned me down
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
