the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
