My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
