Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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