you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
