Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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