Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
