"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
