We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
