I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
