I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
