So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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