nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize