i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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