oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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