I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
