Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
