Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The power of my boobs compel you
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize