I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have aggressive nipples.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize