honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
