I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
