Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
