Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
