So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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