i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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