Whod you bang
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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